50 First Dates: 145 Thoughts We Had While Watching “Love Is Blind” with Netflix Party
What better time to watch strangers get engaged without ever meeting face-to-face than while practicing social distancing ourselves?
Since we’re all stuck inside, a few members of the HONOLULU team (Marisa Heung, Katie Kenny, Brie Thalmann and Katrina Valcourt) grabbed some pau hana drinks and queued up Love Is Blind, Netflix’s original docu-series about single men and women who, without ever meeting face to face, get to know each other through a wall until they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together and get engaged (usually after just a few dates).
A new browser extension for Chrome lets you sync up whatever you’re watching on Netflix with friends. It’s called Netflix Party, and all you have to do is download it, pick a show, send the link to your buddies and voilà—you’re streaming at the same time with a chat window running alongside your screen so you can share your thoughts as you watch.
Here are 145 thoughts we had while watching Season 1, Episode 1:
BT: Omg this opening—so melodramatic.
MH: Where are they all looking?
KV: To the FUTURE
BT: It DOES feel like the start to The Bachelor!
KV: How short is he?
MH: Wesley, come to Hawai‘i. There are plenty of short people here.
KV: Man, they are dressed up for never actually getting to see their dates.
BT: So many bodycon dresses! There must be a lotta Spanx going on!
KV: OK but they picked good looking people …
KK: This is very high tech. Is this a show from South Korea?
MH: Psh, it wishes it was The Masked Singer.
KV: I feel like this is too not serious, like they know they can cancel. I’d be like, sure I’ll do it, and boom I’m engaged. Then I see him and I’m like nahhh. What are you gonna do, sue me?
BT: Are there no Asian guys? They need blind love too!
KK: Yeah where are the Asians?
MH: I agree, needs more Asians. Maybe only one guy is allowed to have height issues.
KV: EVERYONE WANTS A PERFECT MARRIAGE, JESSICA.
KK: It seems that these people are actually regular lovely people so far. As in they’re not picked for drama. I may take this back later.
KV: It’s only been 10 minutes.
MH: Wow this is my ideal first date.
KV: No eye contact, lots of vodka.
MH: I could be drunk, talk and play Pokémon at the same time.
KK: Have you seen Love Island? The Bachelor? Married at First Sight?
KV: I don’t watch shows like this ever.
MH: Me neither.
KK: Well the people on them are trainwrecks and it’s a bit hard to watch. These people seem like they would be people we know.
KV: Their “connection” is just that they’re both from Chicago. You could find that by dating people in Chicago.
BT: Wait so do they all get to meet everyone or are they only paired up with certain people?
KV: I think they meet everyone.
MH: That guy wearing the suit ... why?
KK: Why’s he sitting like that?
MH: To assert his dominance.
KV: Wow, assuming she will cook for him, mmhmm.
MH: $10 he’s just doodling in his Moleskine.
BT: He wrote down SALMON! He is too low energy.
KK: I don’t see it with them.
MH: I wonder if there’s a time limit for how long the date goes.
BT: He was just the warmup.
MH: LOL this is not going well. THANK U, NEXT.
KV: This guy looks like a cuter Michael Phelps.
BT: They look like they could be brother and sister!
MH: His eyes have no emotion.
BT: I like that he’s focusing on her and not just taking notes.
BT: Ooh no, Jessica is back.
MH: That's a great question: What’s the weirdest thing about you?
KK: Why is her voice becoming more babylike???
MH: She seems like the kind of lady who would send a cocktail back multiple times.
KV: This isn’t gonna happen. Her voice is NOT sexy.
MH: Clearly he has specific tastes.
BT: C’mon Cameron, down a Red Bull or something!
MH: Poor Diamond, the name wasn’t her choice.
KV: Haha I like Diamond, she’s got no time for this BS.
MH: She did not choose the Diamond life.
KK: Who is he?? He is mean but hilarious.
BT: Oh! He dug out!
KV: I want them to fight over the guys.
BT: I would like to vote Jessica off the island.
MH: I don't understand the bald head + beard look.
KV: What if you're like NOPE to everyone?
BT: Hey this seems like a good match so far.
KK: Look at him pacing! He’s excited.
MH: How come only the women’s rooms have blankets? Oh no, jk. The men just don’t need them.
BT: Day 2 is casual dress day apparently.
MH: “You're Impressive as hell.” “I knooooooow!”
BT: They were smart to liquor everybody up.
KK: Why are all the guys in love with baby voice?
KV: “I love my family.” “I love my family too omg!” Ugh.
KK: Is she drunk?
MH: Most definitely.
KV: They’re both pretty drunk.
BT: OK reality check people, you are in two totally different life stages.
KV: There is alcohol in every shot of this show.
MH: UGH. THAT SHIRT.
KK: Am I the only one noticing that with women she sounds normal and with men she’s babylike?
KV: She’s totally using a baby voice and I hate it.
MH: I feel like that’s not that odd. I’ve heard of the “girlfriend voice.”
KK: No but this is extreme.
MH: Dudes seem to be eating it up, though.
KV: The guys are totally spreading out, super chill, loving all the attention. The girls are still all cross legged and bundled up, nervous.
MH: ’Cause they’re wearing dresses and are freezing cold. I don’t trust this Cameron.
KV: Ugh, who says I love you on, what is this, Day 4?
KV: NO YOU DON’T!
KK: No I think they think it.
KV: This is what being on TV does to you.
MH: Definitely. Drunk.
KK: Look how red they are.
KV: You’re in the most controlled environment with no outside influences of any kind, no situational reactions, no deep connections.
BT: Omg I hope they make it!
MH: Ummm ... Lauren, you don’t know everything about him.
BT: All the producers are high fiving right now.
KV: I’m waiting for a bombshell to drop.
MH: Ohhh I wonder if any are divorced? There’s gotta be more.
KV: This is just like Catfish.
MH: There again with the wine.
KV: That was a BIG glass.
MH: He went through a pansexual phase? His big secret was gender fluidity.
KV: That’s not a big enough bombshell. I need more drama.
KK: Are we missing dates in between here??
KV: I sure hope so ’cause this is shallow as hell.
BT: Take off your love goggles, girl!
MH: He reminds me of Oscar Isaac.
KK: Of all the girls ... the boys are gonna fight over Jessica?
MH: Da baby voice, guys. I'm going to try it on Ryan tonight.
KK: I’m going to do a phone call date and do a baby voice.
MH: Katie, just pretend you’re talking to your dog.
BT: Be careful, you might get engaged tonight.
KK: You’ll all be bridesmaids.
MH: I would be honored :')
BT: This show must be sponsored by a blanket company.
KV: What else do they do all day when they're not dating?
BT: Cameron reminds me of Serena Williams’ husband.
MH: Why do all these guys look like knockoff clones of famous actors?
KV: Omg this is emotional.
KK: Oh Jesus.
BT: Auggh he’s proposing! Team Laumeron!
KV: THIS IS BS.
MH: He looks like black market James McAvoy.
KK: I mean it’s weird as hell but I do kinda like them.
KV: They don’t even know what they’re like on the weekends. Like, I’m a totally different person on the weekends.
KK: I’m a totally different person at home! My Caucasian side comes out outside and then my Asian side comes out at home.
BT: Did she even get to talk to all the guys yet?
MH: In the words of my mom: “When you know, you know.”
KV: The girls are not happy for each other, those are fake hugs.
KK: “Are you mad at me?” “I’m so cute!”
KV: Thank goodness they’re having some kind of trouble. How they react is a big deal.
KV: Is he sleeping?
MH: Dude, with that much alcohol I’d be passed out mid sentence.
KK: I’m actually offended by her voice as a woman in 2020.
BT: “If there were no other girls I’d propose to you tomorrow”—wtf is that?
MH: Seriously, he knows how to compliment a girl.
KV: Who bought that ring?? Netflix?
BT: Holy cow, they’re about to meet? This moment must be so scary.
KK: I want to take a screenshot of his reaction.
MH: Yeah, I’d be nauseous too.
BT: She is gorgeous so she has nothing to worry about.
KK: No I mean he might become so intimidated by her.
KV: He’s like a large leprechaun in that green shirt.
KV: IS IT OVER?
MH: DAMN YOU, NETFLIX!
P.S.: If you’re going on any virtual first dates while on lockdown, please tell us about it! Find our submission guidelines here and email your date to us at firstname.lastname@example.org and you may be featured on our blog, 50 First Dates.