In defense of Pumpkin Spice Spam

No be surprised. Dis one deserves one spot on top da Spam power ranking
Pumpkin Spice Spam

I wuz tracking it when da new Pumpkin Spice Spam launched this fall. and, da only two places selling this limited edition Spam, sold out of ’em in less than a day. It came and went so fast that lotta people I know nevah even believe it wuz indeed for real. They thought it wuz one internet hoax. 

When I showed people one picture of me with my can of Pumpkin Spice Spam as proof, wuz funny da reaction, cuz had choke planny haters. My friend Dann Seki said, “Some tings you don’t mess with.” Val Falle said, “Spam is sacred to local grinds. Spam gotta taste like Spam. Pumpkin go home!” ZERO of my friends said Ooo, I wanna try.

Da funniest reactions came from my foodie friends. I asked how would you eat your Pumpkin Spice Spam. Most of them ragged on it. My favorite mean comment came from from my fellow Frolicker Jason Chin, who’s normally down for trying anyting and everyting. Like for really, he’d eat bugs and brains and even bug brains. But he said if he had one can of Pumpkin Spice Spam he would “throw it in the trash, then go open a can of regular Spam.” So funny.

See also: Da Spam power rankings

When I first heard about Pumpkin Spice Spam, I joked it wuz one meal and dessert all in one. Cuz da in-gre-da-ments list doesn’t really give any hints of what this Pumpkin Spice Spam will taste like. All it says it has “Pork with Ham, Sugar, Water. Salt. Modified Potato Starch, Spices, Sodium Nitrite.” No say what kine spices and who knows how sweet, right?

I wuz expecting it to be sweet like pumpkin pie, but when I finally fried it up and tasted it, I wuz surprised, it wuzn’t sweet like one dessert at all. I remember one time I tried one similar savory/sweet idea at one fast-food restaurant. They had one bacon-flavored milkshake and it tasted good for one sip, then I tried to drink more and I felt like barfing. That second sip wuz too much. I ended up tossing it.

See also: CIY video: Sunny side Spam musubi

As I eating this, I gotta say, out of all da Spams, this Pumpkin Spice Spam has da greatest complexity to its taste profile. I not sure if it’s indeed true pumpkin spice in this Spam. Most times when tings get pumpkin spice it’s one blend of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves and maybe allspice. For sure I can smell and taste da cinnamon, but Pumpkin Spice Spam tastes nothing like one dessert at all. It tastes a little earthy and surprisingly da most gourmet outta all da Spams. Eating a slice makes me wanna have another, which means I gotta officially quantify da taste as being GOOD. Lol.

As for where it falls in my official Spam power rankings, I placing ’em at numbah 10. In da middle third. Definitely not in da bottom third, da Spams which they should stop selling.

If you get little bit extra Christmas money and you wanna treat yourself, still get Pumpkin Spice Spam available on da secondary market. New cans stay selling on eBay in da $20 range. If you break ’em down, das like maybe $2 a slice. But like I said, it’s worth trying, cuz it’s da most gourmet tasting outta all da Spams. I like it most for its spirit. I love it when people get adventurous and take chances with Spam. If you like ’em, lemme know! Maybe we can get Gingerbread Spam next year.