50 First Dates: Third Time’s the Charm
After multiple unsuccessful attempts at asking out our anonymous lady, the guy on date No. 22 finally won her over with the promise of sushi and tales of adventure. But did he deliver?
50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!
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What I was looking for at the time
Nothing serious, but good conversation was key.
How we met
The good-company version is we met through mutual friends, which is absolutely true. Since he and I actually went to the same high school (though never meeting while there, and graduating three years apart), our circles always kept us one or two degrees of separation apart.

That version just left out a few details, like the fact that the meeting was at a trashy dive bar (NOT one of the charming dive bars, trust me!). He was there because it was the appropriately trashy venue for the mid-20s birthday party of one of his best friends (and, ahem, future groomsman). I was there because my high school classmate was visiting from California, where she’d moved after graduation, and, well, the bar was the closest place to the childhood homes of our group of friends rallying to see her.
Another less-than-charming detail? He was appropriately trashed for a dive-bar, mid-20s birthday party, which meant he didn’t utter a word in my presence and I wouldn’t have been able to pick him out from a crowd the next week. But after hunting me down on social media (after our mutual friend ignored his request for my contact info, ha!) and getting politely declined once, he happened to go on a solo trip across Southeast Asia, and then driving across the United States, which begat a slew of witty, absurdist little travel observations and a photo trail of adventures that were honestly a delight to follow. When he returned and asked me again to meet for sushi, I couldn’t help but want to hear more stories of his grand ramble and accepted.
Where we went
Not sushi! False advertising! My foodie ass was wooed with my kryptonite: the promise of interesting pūpū and dinner (!) starting at the now-defunct Apartment 3, so I made sure to not eat beforehand so I wouldn’t spoil my appetite. After one teeny appetizer pizza, two hours in, I was famished and dying inside and this guy did not seem like he was going to stop ordering cocktails or chatting anytime soon. Docile baby me (oh, youth!) was anxious about over-ordering and making him feel pressured to foot the bill. So, in desperation, I asked if I could finish his pizza.
The lowdown
Despite my saltiness about not being properly fed, the conversation never lagged. We bantered, we joked, we debated, we argued. We liked a lot of the same things and he was the right amount of interested and nice without trying too hard or pretending to be something he wasn’t. He was confident in who he was and confident in how much he liked me. Not understanding the importance of food and feeding me were, I hoped, skills that could be learned.
How did it end/where are the now?
This month we go into our ninth year together. Ninth!! Almost a decade! We’re married now! We still argue, debate, banter and play. He’s still one of the best people I know to talk about (or watch) movies with. He still loves pizza. He is now much better at prioritizing keeping me fed 🙂
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