50 First Dates: She Was With Someone Else, Until He Showed Up

Just because the girl was on a date with another guy doesn’t mean Dater No. 16 wasn’t gonna shoot his shot.


50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!


What I was looking for at the time

Something long term and real, or at least more real than the handful of college hookups, short-term relationships and awkward Tinder dates I’ve had to endure.


How we met

Surprisingly, not through Tinder or Bumble. No tech involved. I saw her at the Hale‘iwa Jodo Mission bon dance. I liked her hair, and then I saw the rest of her and liked that even more. She is half Japanese, which was kind of the nail in the coffin for me. Fortunately, we had mutual friends and our groups merged, and after I talked to her for a while I’d become pretty smitten. She was actually on her first date with another guy (gasp) but I asked her for her number anyway while he stared daggers into the back of my head. Sorry?



Where we went

I like coffee dates—you can actually talk and get to know your date while covering your nervous habits with sips of coffee. Unfortunately, we underestimated just how quiet and serious the atmosphere is in Glazer’s Coffee, so we both grabbed a drink and headed to Nijiya Market. She needed a bento and I was just there to get to know her anyway, so the location really didn’t matter. We ended up at my place, which was close, watching scary movies and cuddling on my couch.



The lowdown

The date was awesome. She was funny, smart and really, really heckin’ cute. My last, brief fling was with a yoga instructor who talked to me for hours about how she thought she was actually in a coma and her entire life was an illusion—a story for another time—so this was a breath of fresh air. It wasn’t the most eventful date ever; there was no drama or grand displays of romance. We just talked, and clicked, and sometimes that’s all you need.


How did the date end/where are the now?

She’s probably still at my place, getting ready for school or working on one of her many, many projects. It’s been two-and-a-half years since our first date, so it looks like I’ve found something real. We’ve had some bad times, but we’ve also had a lot of really, really great times that I wouldn’t trade for anything. We use the L word frequently and she’s become my best friend and the only person I can spend an entire day with with ease. As Rivers Cuomo of Weezer once crooned in their hit song “El Scorcho,” “Goddamn you half Japanese girls / do it to me every time.”



Check out HONOLULU Magazine’s 50 First Dates blog and then send your sweet/sad/stupid/scary/silly first-date story to web@honolulumagazine.com. It’s anonymous so no excuses!