50 First Dates: Must Love Dogs … And Girls Who Make The First Move
We were really rooting for dater No. 19 and her date with a fellow dog lover. Read on for the continuation of a previous submission—our most cringe-worthy encounter yet.
50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!
What I was looking for at the time
I had just ended a pretty toxic relationship so I was looking for someone completely different. Not necessarily a long term relationship at this point but something fun (and someone nice).
How we met
At a dog festival at Victoria Ward Park. I kept seeing this tall, good-looking guy who seemed to have spotted me too. I was immediately attracted: I’m obsessed with my dog and he too brought his dog to an event where it was all about fur babies.
He said a very flirty hi to me while I was walking around with my friend’s little kid and it was then that I realized we had matched on a dating app awhile back—but the texting conversation went nowhere. I sent him a message after the event to say “that was me!” and he gave the strangest response: “I wanted to speak to you but you seemed uninterested and taken.”
Then weeks later I was at an event where my company was competing in a plane-pulling event. Of course he was there with his company too. It was a sign. We texted after that and decided to finally make a date of it.
I want to add that prior to this, my recent dating track record was pretty awful—the guy would never make a move on me. My friends chalked it up to me not being flirty enough. Was I friend-zoning myself? The day before this date, one friend suggested that if it went well, I should lean in for the kiss at the end of the night. Why not? It was 2019 and I’m not old-fashioned.
Where we went
Pumped with my newfound confidence, I got my nails done that afternoon, strapped on some heels and wore a sexier-than-normal dress. I was ready to flirt. I was ready to let this guy know if I was interested. I was ready to get a kiss. His lips better be ready.
When I showed up at the sake tasting we planned, he shot me a big smile and even commented on how nice he thought I looked. We sipped sake, chatted easily (and nervously) and he was forward with his flirting. His hands were always on me (in appropriate places). He kept checking me out.
The sake tasting was fun and he asked if we should get some dinner. I suggested Doraku, since it was nearby. During dinner we ate, chatted, flirted and discovered that in addition to our previously attended events, we actually had been at some of the same concerts (one being Gary Clark Jr. at The Republik, whom I love).
He picked up the check at dinner so when he asked if I’d be interested in heading to a bar for a nightcap, I offered to get the check. We went to Bevy and that’s when things got even more handsy.
I had a slit in my dress and he took full advantage of stroking my leg. If his hand wasn’t on my leg, it was on my lower back. He leaned in a lot and was very suggestive. I gave him a cute little kiss on the cheek while he was leaning in quite close.
But then something happened.
He seemed to be looking around at these pretty girls at the other end of the bar. I tried to not read into it. I asked for the check and, to my surprise, I had forgotten my cards (I had switched to a smaller bag but in my nervous, pumped-up state forgot to transfer the contents of my wallet to the clutch). Embarrassed beyond belief, I had to ask my date to pay. He was lovely about it and still wanted to go for a walk.
How did it end/where are the now?
He walked me home and along the way he asked about what it was like living in the area as he was thinking of moving there. I quickly became comfortable again and when we reached the entrance to my building we stood and looked at each other.
I leaned in.
He leaned back.
“Oh, did I totally misread that?” I blurted out. “No, I just didn’t expect that at all,” he replied. As I started to turn away to run inside, he pulled me back for another kiss. I’ve never kissed a dead fish before but now I know what I’ve been missing. His lips remained limp and unimpressed. He did not want to be there. Once we finally pulled away from each other, he said good night and turned to leave. I believe there is still a man-shaped hole in the wall from where he bolted through. The next morning at 7 I received a text thanking me for the company and conversation. And that’s all, folks.
So how did my first attempt at flirting go? Not well. Not well at all. Will I be leaning in again any time soon? Absolutely not.
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