50 First Dates: “He Wrote ‘A Lot’ As One Word”

Date No. 18 featured a sweet fella, but with no chemistry between the pair and a lack of good grammar, their story was shelved.

50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!


What I was looking for at the time

Nothing. At all. I had just been ghosted by someone I thought was perfect for me and was still processing my feelings. It was only a week or two later that my co-worker texted me saying she had just met her friend’s co-worker at a bar, and he was funny, cute, kind of geeky and someone she thought I’d really like. I put off meeting him for two months.

  new girl

Gifs: giphy.com


How we met

My co-worker invited her friend and her friend’s co-worker to join us for lunch at Artizen downtown. He introduced himself and sat across from me but our respective co-workers were so chatty he and I barely got a word in. Later, my co-worker said she caught him sneaking glances at me a lot, so I told her she could give him my number. He asked me out immediately.


Where we went

Morning Brew in Kailua


The lowdown

We met for coffee but I didn’t have much to say. I hadn’t been on a proper date in a long time and didn’t even know where to begin. He was very kind, but I didn’t really feel like I actively wanted to get to know him—it was more like I was doing it for my co-worker’s sake since she really wanted me to meet someone decent. We mostly talked about our jobs.



Things turned around when he said he wanted to take me to BookEnds next door, because he knew I liked to read. We browsed through the shelves, took turns suggesting books for each other and I got to know him a little better. He ended up buying one of my favorite books for himself as well as one of his favorites for me. It was a very sweet gesture. But I still didn’t feel any chemistry.


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How did it end/where are the now?

We met up for lunch again, but I still wasn’t really interested in getting to know him, as awful as that sounds. On top of that, when he texted me, he wrote “a lot” as one word. Not just once, either. Pet peeve. Despite him having a lot of great qualities on paper, I was almost looking for an excuse to not date him. He could tell it wasn’t working out. After lunch, neither of us ever texted the other again—and I still haven’t read that book. We’re not friends on Facebook but I see him pop up from time to time in other people’s posts and he looks happy with his girlfriend, who happens to be the ex of another guy I went out with once. #hawaiiproblems


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