50 First Dates: He Asked Her Out for Dinner and Then Refused to Order Food

The lesson from Date No. 11? READ. THE. BIO.

December 13, 2019

Anonymous,

50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!

Gif: giphy.com

What I was looking for at the time

What I’ve always been looking for, the two F’s: Forever, or, barring that, just Food.

How we met

This guy whose Plenty of Fish profile seemed normal enough asked me on a dinner date, presumably because my profile unapologetically stated “I need food” in the headline. Anyone who’s sifted through the rubble on a dating app knows that someone who actually reads is a rarity these days, so I agreed to meet him at 7.

Where we went

Pint + Jigger.

Gif: giphy.com

The lowdown

We ordered beers and he immediately proceeded to ramble about his life history and interests, barely stopping to take a breath, let alone give me a chance to speak. Almost an hour in, when he finally paused to ask me what I thought of some episode of Rick and Morty (listed on my profile as one of my favorite shows), I jumped on the opportunity to inquire whether he was as hungry as I was and whether he planned on ordering some food. He replied that he wasn’t hungry because he’d had a big lunch! As he continued prattling on, I texted my best friend under the table for an SOS, doubting my date even noticed my uncharacteristic but not unwarranted rude move. Five minutes later my phone rang, and I dashed out in relief with the hasty explanation that it was a “work-related call” (which wasn’t a lie since my bestie and I are working on a kids’ book together).

How did it end/where are they now?

Back home, I texted a quick “thanks for the beer. Sorry, I don’t think this will work out. Good luck out there!” before blocking him (to avoid the probable backlash) and then microwaving something frozen. I felt a little bad, but hey, don’t ask someone on a dinner date if you aren’t planning to be hungry, especially if the person’s headline stresses the importance of food!

Gif: giphy.com

Check out HONOLULU Magazine’s 50 First Dates blog and then send your sweet/sad/stupid/scary/silly first-date story to web@honolulumagazine.com. It’s anonymous so no excuses!