50 First Dates: Does Standing Someone Up Twice Really Warrant a Stage 5 Clinger?

Dater No. 13 set herself a dating challenge and met her perfect match. But not before matching with a real challenge.


50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!


Maybe “treat ’em mean to keep ’em keen” does work?


What I was looking for at the time

I had recently gotten out of a two-year relationship and was looking for either a fun time or a potential rebound relationship. I tend to enjoy a challenge when single so I’ll stupidly set categories as guidelines or goals. My previous category prior to my long-term relationship was engineers but I had decided this round would be physicians.



How we met

I was swiping right on my favorite dating application, Bumble, and decided to stray from my usual tastes and matched with a short, Korean attorney who was fairly new to the area. I was hopeful that his quirky looks might be made up for with a dazzling personality—I sure was tired of the egotistical douchebags that I was used to dating.



Where we went

We eventually met at Mr. Tea across from the Blaisdell. It was down the road from his place and I think he was trying to play it safe after having been stood up last round. Yes, a couple months prior I completely stood him up at Smith & Kings, having sent him a “sorry, won’t be making it” 5 minutes prior to the date when I found myself getting hot and heavy with my ex at the time.


The lowdown

Once we were face-to-face, he blabbed on about being an resident adviser in college and always being such a narc. He asked the worst first date questions that I have ever heard (“If you could be any appliance, what would you be?”). It was about an hour and a half of torture before I told him I had to get going. As I dashed to my car, he asked me to join him on a Mānoa Falls hike the following weekend. I didn’t have it in me to turn him down in-person, so I agreed.



How did it end/where are the now?

I didn’t hear from him all week and was hopeful that he had forgotten about the hiking date. So I continued with my usual Saturday activities. I was on my way to a pedicure appointment in Kaimukī when I got a text that said “Hey, I’m waiting under the big tree. Are you almost here?” Being the coward that I am, I shot him a text about forgetting about the date then blocked him. I had now stood him up twice.



He would still continue to follow and unfollow my social media accounts and I would see him at the bar that I worked at occasionally. Despite having been stood up twice, the man was still interested. Shortly after our date, I found the handsome Asian doctor that I had been looking for, and he became my boyfriend. One day my boyfriend was telling me about a kickball team that he had joined and that there was a fellow Korean guy from the Mainland on the team. Apparently this guy was obnoxious and clearly desperate for bros. To our surprise, it happened to be that terrible date guy whom I stood up. Terrible date guy found out about my boyfriend being on the team and not only continued trying to contact me through different social media accounts but even kicked my boyfriend out of the kickball team chat.



Check out HONOLULU Magazine’s 50 First Dates blog and then send your sweet/sad/stupid/scary/silly first-date story to web@honolulumagazine.com. It’s anonymous so no excuses!