50 First Dates: “My Jason Momoa-Looking Date Ghosted Me Twice”
Welcome to date no. 4, where our abandoned dater watched the ghost of dude-bros past reappear with another girl.
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What I was looking for at the time
Before the date I had my eyes open to dating someone. Fast forward to actually meeting this Caucasian Jason Momoa (“CJM”) in the flesh and I quickly changed my tune to a friends-with-benefits kinda thing.
How we met
Where we went
We had originally discussed meeting up in our neighborhood (at the time we lived directly across the street from each other) for a local bar crawl. I love beer and liked the casual-yet-excited vibe I was getting from CJM via text. But during a work event, I agreed to an impromptu Waikīkī meet up after the event ended—he was out drinking with friends, I was drinking with coworkers, it sounded like a nice way to end my night.
He asked me to meet him at Duke’s where he was drinking with friends. Sort of annoying since we could have just met where we were going to drink. I went anyway. I spotted the tallest and bulkiest guy standing at the end of the bar and walked straight up to him. From the first few seconds of meeting him, I could tell we had similar upbeat energies and let go of the fact that he asked me to pick him up only to walk him across the street to The Laylow for drinks.
Once we sat down the conversation was above average and fun. I began to think CJM could simply be a decent drinking/adult-fun-time buddy. Then I noticed the negging (backhanded compliments used mostly by dude-bros). For example, this was an unplanned meet up so we didn’t exactly match outfits-wise. He was wearing a tank, board shorts and slippers while I was in a sexy sleek suit (not far off from Anne Hathaway’s Oscar-hosting suit but without a shirt underneath) and heels. He kept mentioning the suit in an unflattering yet flirty way. Dude, if you’re reading this: most of us know when you’re negging us so just stop.
This interaction was like being on a rollercoaster. One moment we were laughing and the next we weren’t speaking the same language. After a fun chat about trips we were planning at the time, an uncomfortable conversation about how he believes men and women can’t be friends quickly followed. I explained that I can understand his opinion if that’s been his experience but a large number of my closest friends are men I’ve never had a thing with. He did not accept this.
I think we had another nice conversation after that which, at the time, made me forgive some of the other weird red-ish flags.
How did it end/where are they now?
As we were ending the night, he said we should meet up soon to do that neighborhood crawl we talked about. I said sure and we went our separate ways. The next day he texted that he had fun and thanked me for meeting up. I responded to that—and he responded with a good old ghosting.
Weeks or months later I started bumping into CJM at Waikīkī Brewing Company in Kaka‘ako—the last place I expected to see him since he told me he doesn’t drink beer. Each time we were very pleasant to each other and even joked around. Brewery CJM seemed quite different from the Duke’s dude-bro I met before. The last time we bumped into each other at the brewery we talked about meeting up for real and I said, “yes, as friends!” We started texting again and planned to hang that upcoming weekend.
The crawl. Our neighborhood. Saturday sometime after 3 p.m.
I was finishing up some work at Waikīkī Brewing Company (the same bar we kept bumping into each other), texted him to confirm the meeting place and BOO! He went full ghost again. That is, until he returned to the living and walked into the brewery with a date. Why was I still there? Well my Saturday was suddenly open so I decided to drink the drinks and still have a nice night—solo. It was absolutely lovely until he came into a place filled with the alcoholic beverage he doesn’t touch with a different girl.
What have I learned? Go with your gut and don’t become a repeat offender with dude-bros who neg. Even if they look like Jason Momoa.
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