Nonstop Movies: ‘Monsters University’

zzzZZZZ………zzzZZZZ……..snore…..skdjfklejlk…what? The movie is over? Oh good, let me out of this theater.

Okay, well maybe “Monsters University” wasn’t THAT bad, and I didn’t actually fall asleep, but there’s no doubt I was agonizingly bored throughout the film. As a prequel to one of my least favorite Pixar films, “Monsters, Inc.” I really wasn’t expecting much out of this unnecessary back story of supposed-to-be lovable monsters Mike and Sulley, but I figured since it was a Pixar film, there would be at least a few memorable moments. I hate it when I’m wrong.

In order to pump something out this summer season to lure away hard-earned money from young filmgoers and their parents, Pixar is releasing basically a Rated G version of “Revenge of the Nerds,” meaning a college underdog story without all the booze and sex jokes. And would “Revenge of the Nerds” have been at all entertaining without the booze and sex? I don’t mean to sound perverted and crass, but the point is that I don’t think the film’s intended audience will even understand the setting and premise of “Monsters University.” I might be terribly underestimating the intelligence of elementary school kids, but I’m not sure they know anything about fraternities, initiations, dormitory life and all the other college life cliches poked fun at in this film.

I suppose all of that would be okay if the story had some heart or laughs, but it’s sorely lacking in both. Mike (voiced by Billy Crystal) comes off as obsessively studious and ambitious, likely to lead to a mental breakdown if copied in real life, while Sulley (voiced by John Goodman) is aloof and just plain old mean in some scenes. Gone is their teamwork and chemistry from the first film. I realize “Monsters University” is about their first meeting, so the chemistry may not be there yet, but if that’s the case, then why make the film at all?

“Monsters University” is animated filmmaking at its cheapest, laziest level. Even the animated short before the film, “The Blue Umbrella” is an uninspired copycat of Disney’s brilliant short “Paperman,” which was shown before “Wreck it Ralph.”

There really is no other cinematic option for young children this summer, so I’m sure that “Monsters University” will take in tons of money at the box office this weekend. I’d recommend taking your kids to the beach or reading a good book to them instead of wasting your money on this movie.

“Monsters University,” 110 minutes, is Rated G and opens in theaters Friday.