‘Hawaii Five-O’ Recap: ‘Imi Loko Ka `Uhane’

Remember Susan Powter, that practically bald, platinum blonde fitness freak from the ’90s? Remember what she’d yell out whenever she was on TV? “Stop the Insanity!” That’s what I felt like screaming to my TV while watching last night’s new “Hawaii Five-0” episode, “Imi Loko Ka Uhane.” I mean, really, what is up with these gimmick shows this season? Victoria Secret models, Dog the Bounty Hunter, the Mad Libs episode where audiences chose the ending, and now this – a show within a show.

Guest star Aisha Tyler plays talk show host Savannah Walker, who’s somehow allowed to follow the 5-0 team for 24 hours. There is just so much wrong already with this concept. Seriously, this show lost me before the opening credits. And what a shame too because the return of Wo Fat could have made for a much more compelling episode if done right. Instead the writers chose to bring back the primary villain of the last three years in this horrible episode.

Here’s this week’s look at The Good, The Bad and The Weird.

The Good

• The Kukui High School Fighting Nuts get another mention.
• Charlie Fong talking up his role on the team to the talk show host. Nice moment to shine for Fong.
• Yup, that’s it folks.

The Bad

• Aisha Tyler is so annoying. I don’t know how she continues to get work.
• So the Governor allowed a talk show to follow his elite crime fighting task force around with cameras? No friggin way. I know “Hawaii Five-0” is just a TV show and the audience is supposed to suspend disbelief a little for the sake of entertainment, but this is just going way too far. This show took the concept of reality, wrapped it up in paper towel, aluminum foil and paper bag, put it in a locked safe 100 feet underground, poured concrete around that safe, then buried it and put a fence with barb wire and electrical shock sensors around the area. That’s how far from reality this show was.
• How is the 5-0 team ever supposed to go undercover now that their faces have been plastered all over TV? Oh wait, since Aisha Tyler’s the host I doubt many were watching.
• Savannah asking the 5-0 team why she has to sign a safety waiver. Really? Did you not say yourself that this was the State’s elite crime fighting task force? What did you expect they were going to be doing? Rescuing cats from trees?
• Yeah, let’s just talk about our most high-profile case about global terrorists in the car in front of the TV camera. There’s no way that would ever compromise a classified investigation.
• “Lethal Weapon 2” called. It wants its jumping into the pool scene back.
• Seems like an awful lot of work to steal money plates, bury them in the Koolau mountains and then have to tattoo a map of the site on your body to remember where you left it. I guess a safety deposit box at the bank wouldn’t have done the trick?
• If I was an audience member at that Savannah Walker talk show taping, I’d be thinking to myself, “This show blows. I wanna see cool celeb guests like Howie Mandel!”

The Weird

• The Big Bang Theory guys made better use of a 3D printer when they made action figures of themselves.
• What was with Kono talking in a ditzy blonde manner when interviewed on camera?
• Why do the 5-0 guys always slide images from their huge tabletop computer screen to the much smaller monitor hanging from the ceiling? Is it just for the sake of the TV viewers because I’d think they’d get a much better view of all the info just looking down.
• Charlie Fong’s first name is Che? Who knew?

Thankfully, this seemingly endless season without a focus or direction is coming to an end soon. To quote Doctor Sheldon Cooper, “Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season until we were grateful it ended.” I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that.