33 Real Problems (No, Seriously) Only Hawai‘i Locals Can Handle
It’s paradise. So why are we so stressed?
To the outsider, Hawai‘i looks idyllic: Year-round summer, pristine beaches and ‘ono food. Yes, we love our home, but there are also disadvantages to living on a tiny island—from expensive gasoline and frequent hurricane scares to endless traffic. Yes, these are problems that only locals in Hawai‘i will understand.
1. Every friend from the Mainland wants to visit you, but you don’t ever want to visit them. (North Dakota? No, thanks.)
2. You get no sympathy from your Mainland friends if you complain about Hawai‘i’s chilly weather on Facebook.
Image: Diane Lee
3. You can find great deals on Mainland produce, but you better be ready to eat it right away before it spoils.
4. There’s no such thing as a cheap weekend getaway.
5. Shave ice melts faster than you can eat it.
6. Live in a valley? Hello, mildew, my old friend.
7. Humidity is great for your skin. It’s not so great for your electronics.
8. Centipedes, scorpions and cane spiders … oh, my!
A photo posted by @aaron643 on
9. Roaches in your kitchen.
10. Roaches in your office phone.
11. Roaches on TheBus.
12. Roaches flying straight at your face.
13. Where you wen’ grad high school stays with you forever.
— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) July 16, 2014
Photo: dwayne johnson
14. As soon as they get here, people act like they’re from here. Malihini pidgin, no can.
15. The prettiest sunsets come on the voggiest days.
Last night I witnessed the best sunset I've seen in a long time. The sky was on fire! Shooting along side my bro @vincelimphoto . . . . . . . #TeamCanon #CanonFanPhoto #canon_photos #ourlonelyplanet #blitzworld #officialworldtravel #globalcapture #adventurerising #landscape_captures #majestic_earth_ #BestVacations #ig_shotz e#artsyheaven #sunset_vision #main_vision #TLPicks #ig_escape #gottolove_this #splendid_earth #earth_shotz #pict_lovers #earthexperience #aroundtheworldpix #igrefined #visualambassadors #OurPlanetDaily #WeLiveToExplore #CrativeOptic #venturegrams #fiftyshades_of_twilight
A photo posted by Frank (@frank.shoots) on
16. Every time the wind blows, the power goes out.
17. Hurricane warning? Get in line, it’s time to stock up on bottled water and toilet paper, just like every single other person on the island.
Photo: HONOLULU Magazine
18. New Year’s Eve is a war zone for pet owners.
A video posted by HONOLULU Magazine (@honolulumag) on
19. Amazon Prime’s two-day free shipping? To Hawai‘i? Nope.
I just found a mannequin / dress form that will ship to Hawaii for free 🎉🌴 I have been looking for a while. Local friends you understand how elusive this is!! Merry Christmas to me. Hope it's not a piece of crap 😂. #hawaiiproblems #thankyouamazon #ebay #poshmark #resellercommunity #thrifting #thriftscore #naptimeshopping
A photo posted by ShoreBreakFashionConsignments (@thriftingoahu) on
20. Whenever something new opens, automatic long lines.
21. Let’s face it, Trader Joe’s, IKEA and In-N-Out Burger are never coming to Hawai‘i.
A photo posted by Diane Lee (@dianeswlee) on
22. In the fall and winter, national chains are full of cold-weather clothes you’ll never wear. Why so many heavy wool coats?
23. Year-round summer means basically zero chances to bundle up in cute winter outfits.
24. Commuters dread the return of school more than students.
Photo: Aaron Yoshino
25. Televised football games are already over when you get home from work. No spoilers, please!
26. Sand in your hair. Sand in your ears. Sand in your car. Sand everywhere.
A photo posted by Elite Vacation Rentals (@hawaiivacationrentals) on
27. Nightlife? What nightlife?
28. Tourists who walk around the city in bikinis like it’s a beach. Put some clothes on!
29. That surprise nasal flush at dinner after a day of surfing.
30. Lots of people rock slippers. Fewer people clip their toenails regularly.
31. Tourists bike on the wrong side of the road. We love the adventurous spirit, but we’re afraid of hitting them.
32. There’s no such thing as casual dating. Everybody knows everybody and her cousin and uncle and braddah.
33. Hawai‘i is beautiful, but we’re stuck indoors all the time, working to afford it.
Did we miss anything? Comment below.