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33 Real Problems (No, Seriously) Only Hawai‘i Locals Can Handle

It’s paradise. So why are we so stressed?


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Hawai‘i beach.

Photo: Thinkstock

 

To the outsider, Hawai‘i looks idyllic: Year-round summer, pristine beaches and ‘ono food. Yes, we love our home, but there are also disadvantages to living on a tiny island—from expensive gasoline and frequent hurricane scares to endless traffic. Yes, these are problems that only locals in Hawai‘i will understand.

 

SEE ALSO: 21 Hilarious Hawai‘i Memes That are Too Real for Locals

 

1. Every friend from the Mainland wants to visit you, but you don’t ever want to visit them.  (North Dakota? No, thanks.)

Nope.

Image: Giphy 

 

2. You get no sympathy from your Mainland friends if you complain about Hawai‘i’s chilly weather on Facebook.

Honolulu weather

Image: Diane Lee

 

 

3. You can find great deals on Mainland produce, but you better be ready to eat it right away before it spoils.

Salad eating.

Image: Giphy 

 

4. There’s no such thing as a cheap weekend getaway.

Hawaii plane ticket.

 

5. Shave ice melts faster than you can eat it.

Crying so hard.

IMAGE: GIPHY

 

6. Live in a valley? Hello, mildew, my old friend.

Simpsons

Image: Giphy

 

7. Humidity is great for your skin. It’s not so great for your electronics.

Broken TV.

Image: Giphy 

 

8. Centipedes, scorpions and cane spiders … oh, my!

 

#HawaiiStateBird #MadeInHawaiiFestival #Hawaii #cockroach

A photo posted by @aaron643 on

 

9. Roaches in your kitchen.

Dropping item in kitchen.

Image: Giphy

 

10. Roaches in your office phone. 

Image: Giphy

 

11. Roaches on TheBus.

Glenn scared.

Image: Giphy 

 

12. Roaches flying straight at your face. 

Image: Giphy 

 

13. Where you wen’ grad high school stays with you forever.

 

Photo: dwayne johnson

 

14. As soon as they get here, people act like they’re from here. Malihini pidgin, no can.

50 First Dates

IMAGE: GIPHY

 

15. The prettiest sunsets come on the voggiest days.

 

16. Every time the wind blows, the power goes out.

Eyes in darkness.

Image: Giphy 

 

17. Hurricane warning? Get in line, it’s time to stock up on bottled water and toilet paper, just like every single other person on the island.

Hawaii problems: Bottled water.

Photo: HONOLULU Magazine

 

18. New Year’s Eve is a war zone for pet owners.

 

19. Amazon Prime’s two-day free shipping? To Hawai‘i? Nope. 

 

20. Whenever something new opens, automatic long lines.

South Park

Image: Giphy 

 

21. Let’s face it, Trader Joe’s, IKEA and In-N-Out Burger are never coming to Hawai‘i.

 

Can I take this section home with me? 😍 #pumpkineverything

A photo posted by Diane Lee (@dianeswlee) on

 

22. In the fall and winter, national chains are full of cold-weather clothes you’ll never wear. Why so many heavy wool coats?

Thirft Shop by Macklemore

IMAGE: GIPHY

 

23. Year-round summer means basically zero chances to bundle up in cute winter outfits.

Devil Wears Prada

Image: Giphy

 

24. Commuters dread the return of school more than students.

Carmageddon.

Photo: Aaron Yoshino

 

25. Televised football games are already over when you get home from work. No spoilers, please!

Captain Kirk

Image: Giphy 

 

26. Sand in your hair. Sand in your ears. Sand in your car. Sand everywhere.

 

#HawaiiProblems No. 6: This beach is so sandy

A photo posted by Elite Vacation Rentals (@hawaiivacationrentals) on

 

27. Nightlife? What nightlife?

Closed sign.

Photo: Thinkstock 

 

28. Tourists who walk around the city in bikinis like it’s a beach. Put some clothes on!

Face palm Ryan Gosling.

Image: Giphy 

 

29. That surprise nasal flush at dinner after a day of surfing.

Wipeout

Image: Giphy

 

30. Lots of people rock slippers. Fewer people clip their toenails regularly. 

Will Ferrel

Image: Giphy 

 

31. Tourists bike on the wrong side of the road. We love the adventurous spirit, but we’re afraid of hitting them.

Car driving.

Image: Giphy 

 

32. There’s no such thing as casual dating. Everybody knows everybody and her cousin and uncle and braddah.

Seinfeld Elaine and Jerry.

Image: Giphy 

 

33. Hawai‘i is beautiful, but we’re stuck indoors all the time, working to afford it.

Image: Giphy 

 

Did we miss anything? Comment below. 

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