50 First Dates: Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures, But You Really Should’ve Tried This at Home

Date No. 21 is our first submission about attempting to date during quarantine—something we don’t recommend (seriously. Stay home). Maybe after breaking the rules our dater will take that puzzle, after all.


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50 First Dates anonymously chronicles the fun, romantic, wacky, bizarre and downright awful true experiences of dating in Honolulu. Check back weekly for new first-date stories, where to go to woo a boo, tips on where to meet people and more!

 

quaratine

GifS: Giphy.com

 

What I was looking for at the time

Look, I was just let go from two restaurant jobs, I’m home alone all day following the shelter at home rules and I needed something to do. I’m tired of watching hours of Netflix, I’ve read every book I own and I have nothing new to paint. And I wish my friend would stop suggesting puzzles. I have nowhere to put a puzzle.

 

puzzle

 

How we met

The same friend shared with me a profile of a cute guy she saw on Tinder (“stop being cranky and swipe right”). I swiped right on him as well as another guy I once hooked up with after a drunken night at Kelley O’Neil’s in Waikīkī. I just wanted to chat and have a bit of a distraction, to be honest.  

 

Within days, Shared Profile Guy was very eager, quick to respond and even quicker to suggest a hike. Guy I Once Hooked Up With kept asking me to come to his place to watch a movie. Does he not realize this is a time of social distancing? I might bend the rules to meet you somewhere we can stay 6 feet apart but I’m certainly not going to someone’s house. I would just go hang out with my friends then!  

 

SPG was cute for suggesting a hike but because I didn’t want to be trapped with a stranger out in the wilderness without an easy escape plan, I asked him to go for a walk instead.  

 

david ige

 

Where we went

We parked our cars in Kaka‘ako and went for a walk along the waterfront nearby.  

 

The lowdown

There was small talk, some flirtation and a hint of awkwardness—nothing unusual for a first date. But I didn’t feel any connection. He is very much a man who lives off the land and is focused solely on things like fishing, while I have slightly different aspirations and taste (I’m more of a sunset cruise with cocktails kind of girl more than a deep-sea-fishing before sunrise sista).

 

He was a really nice guy but about halfway through I figured we’d just enjoy a nice afternoon together and I’d have had my much-needed distraction.  

 

How did it end/where are the now?

There’s no other way to put this aside so I’m going to get straight to the point: I avoided his kiss twice, jumped in my car and watched him walk to his car behind mine in my mirror. Did I think I got away clean? Not for long, because the next thing I know he sticks his head in my car and pulls me in for a big wet kiss. SIX FEET! SIX FEET!

 

Last time a friend of mine got in my car, I made her wipe down all the handles she touched with a wet wipe. And I know her. I watched her use sanitizer before coming in my car. 

 

car

 

I did not expect someone to shove their way into my personal space (or my car) after I so clearly avoided kisses and hugs a few minutes earlier. A kiss? Does he not read the news? Does he get the news out on his boat while he’s fishing all day? 

 

Let’s just say I made a mistake meeting a stranger during the shelter in place period. I used those wet wipes on my face and I told my friend to stop sending me Tinder profiles when she’s drunk at home alone.

 

stay home

 

Check out HONOLULU Magazine every Friday to read the newest story on 50 First Dates and then send your sweet/sad/stupid/scary/silly first-date story to web@honolulumagazine.com. It’s anonymous so no excuses!

 

 

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Have a story that’s even bigger, badder or just ugly? Or what about the best first date ever? Copy the template below and email your submission to web@honolulumagazine.com with the subject line “50 First Dates.” All fields must be filled out. The HONOLULU Magazine team will choose which stories to run at our discretion. If your story is chosen, we will call you to verify your information. Contact information is required for verification only and will not be published; blog posts will be anonymous.

 

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  1. be true and not slanderous

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  3. have taken place in Hawai‘i or involve someone from Hawai‘i

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Story template

  • What I was looking for at the time:

  • How we met:

  • Where we went:

  • The lowdown:

  • How did it end/where are they now?

 

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