We Tried It: Kualoa Ranch’s E-Bike Tour Was The Dream Escape We Needed
Thrilling trails, stunning mountain and ocean views, lush landscapes and the best guides to make it extra entertaining. This will be one of the best rides of your life.
On the bike tour, green fields occupied by gentle cows and surrounded by Kualoa’s majestic mountain range is as good a paradise gets. Photo courtesy of Stacey Makiya.
Would I recommend Kualoa Ranch’s 6-mile e-bike tour to locals? A thousand percent yes. The co-workers who accompanied me would highly agree for many reasons, including: unobstructed, panoramic mauka and makai views; tour guides who are the epitome of aloha spirit; mini history lessons about the island; freeing paths with fun twists and turns; and the opportunity to appreciate our beautiful home in an up close and personal way.
Side note: We all know how to ride bikes, but we were e-bike virgins prior to this.
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All participants are asked to arrive 45 minutes before the start time for housekeeping tasks: sign in, fill out a waiver, select a helmet and watch a safety video. Shortly after we are greeted by our tour guides, and badass bikers, Daryl Talaro and Robert Pascua. From the get-go, they make us feel excited, welcome and safe. Plus, they good fun. A bull prank later almost makes me poop in my pants, Daryl. *Read on to hear more of this side story.
We opt for the beginner’s course—the one for experienced riders has more, sharper, turns and fewer scenic stops—and travel through lush, breathtaking Ka‘a‘awa Valley. The bikes assigned to each of us are determined by our heights and we have to take a couple of small laps in the start area to prove that we won’t eat it along the way and get all buss up. Lucky, for the sake of this article, we passed.
For the first couple of minutes, the path is paved. Smooth sailing. Then we hit dirt roads with small rocks, branches and gravel mounds. Bumpy, but nothing the bikes—and we —couldn’t handle. For flat areas, we use the “tour” gear. When we reach our first hill, we hit the turbo mode button (twice). It cranks up the juice and as soon as I start pedaling, I feel a powerful kick that boosts me forward. It’s like when you get pushed hard on a swing from behind and you immediately take off and feel lighter. Someone from our crew excitedly exclaims, “all bikes should have this option!”
We arrive at the first lookout with a breathtaking ocean view; across from us is the entrance to Battery Cooper. Photo courtesy of Stacey Makiya.
We reach the top (stunning ocean view) and arrive at an old war bunker that’s been transformed into a Hollywood shrine. Walking through the attraction, we see lots of memorabilia from movies and shows that have been filmed at the ranch. 3D re-creations of iconic scenes and sets from Lost, Jurassic Park, Kong and Jumanji add hype to the exploration. Warning: T. rexes were around, we are told, but they apparently just ate (there was a tour earlier) so we’re good. We are surprised to learn about all the movies and shows that have been filmed here: Along Came Polly, ER, The Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, Tears of the Sun, Windtalkers, George of the Jungle, Snatched, The Bryds of Paradise (Gen Xers know this one), and many more.
A wall-size painting of Kong in Battery Cooper; Kong:Skull Island was filmed at Kualoa Ranch. Photo courtesy of Stacey Makiya.
SEE ALSO: 2016 Islander of the Year in Entertainment: Dwayne Johnson
After getting the scoop on show biz, we hop on our bikes and head down a good-size hill—weeeeee!!! So much fun. We then ride through a Malaysian prawn farm—Kualoa is the only place, locally, that farms shrimp. (One of the many fact bombs that Robert drops on us.) Soon we are in the land of trees: papaya, ‘ulu, pitaya, noni and cacao. With every pedal, my appreciation for the expansive ranch grows. Every turn is a feast for the eyes, but there’s thoughtful and dedicated purpose to every piece of it.
Riding by the ponds where Malaysian shrimp is farmed. Photo courtesy of Stacey Makiya.
One stop we have to make—we’re all fans of 50 First Dates—is the roadway in the movie where Lucy stops her car to help Henry, and his friend, Ulu (Rob Schneider), takes a beating.
The sign that indicates the road where Lucy helps Henry with his car in 50 First Dates. Photo courtesy of Stacey Makiya.
SEE ALSO: 50 First Dates: The First 12 Hawai‘i Dating Stories That We Blogged About
The tour continues up peaks that lead to lookouts that take our breath away. Of course, what goes up, eventually has to come down. Winding down a mountain at a decent velocity, I would say our need for speed is met. Our guides give great directions to keep us safe yet never take away the fun. There are photo-op stops at a bone graveyard, from Kong: Skull Island, and a cliff that overlooks a field where a Jumanji fight scene was shot.
The graveyard in Kong: Skull Island; the bones used as props were massive yet light in weight. Photo courtesy of Stacey Makiya.
Leaving our last attraction, Daryl gets serious and warns us of a bull down the road that tends to be a bit feisty. If we see him approaching, hit the turbo button and get the hell out of his way, he says. I believe him, and when I say, “What?! Are you kidding?” he hears the fear in my voice. Everyone laughs, ’cause they know he’s serving me some bullsh*t. (And that’s ironic because cow and horse dung is the very thing I was dodging, swerving away from and trying to avoid all day.) He got me.
We return the bikes and helmets, and after the excitement and chatter simmers down, we realize we’re staaaaarrrving. Our lunch pick: Aunty Pat’s Café, right in the visitor center. At Kualoa, burgers and shrimp plates are menu favorites, obviously. We inhale the food; it’s so delicious we forget to take pics! But what a great way to end our two-hour adventure.
And overall, what a ride. We’re all coming back with our families; can we reserve Robert and Daryl?
Price per adult, $119.95, kamaʻāina adult, $99.95; price per keiki (10-12 years old), $89.95, kamaʻāina keiki, $69.95. Weight and height requirements, along with other rules and regulations, are listed on the website. 49-560 Kamehameha Highway, (808) 237-7321, kualoa.com, @kualoaranch
