Hawaii Nightlife Observations

If you go out enough, you’ll start to notice a few trends.  Here are some of my favorite observations, anecdotes and insider’s tips.

1. You know you’re in Chinatown when a homeless guy can pull his pants down in the middle of Hotel Street on a Friday night, and it doesn’t faze anyone.

2. You know you’re in Waikiki when you start to notice certain girls wearing the same “glass slippers” with heels on Kuhio Avenue. Yes, boys—and, police officers—those are the prostitutes! Why they’ve worn these plastic shoes from as far back as I remember, stumps me, but I can imagine that they’re a good conversation starter.

3. When hookers go on vacation, they apparently bring their work with them. I learned this after a casual chat with one walking from Kuhio to Kalakaua. She was on vacation with her friends, but appeared alone and was looking for a club with a bunch of men. “Where are your friends?” I asked. “They’re doing the same thing I’m doing,” she replied.

4. If you’re one to order Grey Goose in your drinks, you might want to order it at the bar. Some cocktail waitresses in certain establishments will take your money, order cheaper liquor instead and keep the difference.

5. People don’t mix at mixers, except with the people they already know.

6. I don’t care how cute you are… before you even think about approaching someone, use a breath mint.

7. Worst pickup line, "Where are you from?" It automatically assumes that the person is not from here, which can be annoying.

8. Better pickup line: “Can I buy you a drink?” The girl will probably say yes, and you can start a short conversation, but don’t expect her to stick around the whole night.

9. Once guys hit their mid-20s to 30s, they stop going into Waikiki and prefer Chinatown’s bars instead.

10. Whether it is raining, windy or freezing weather, girls will still wear the tiniest thing they own.

11. If you can’t dance, just don’t. And, men, you should NEVER attempt to dance to Gaga.

12. GoGo dancers are necessary to keep the dance floor going. Don’t forget to tip them—and, your servers.

13. Don’t touch the DJ’s stuff and never, ever, tell them “this is no good, can you play something else?” unless you want to get yelled at.

14. Fake phone numbers are impossible to give nowadays. Guys have learned how to outsmart girls with the popularity of cell phones. They ask you to call their phone right on the spot!

15. So, need an excuse to get rid of some guys? A good one my friend uses in Waikiki, “We parked at the zoo, so we need to go now or else we’ll get towed.”

Have anything to add to my list? Leave a comment below.