Goodbye To You

You’ve had them all: short ones, tall ones, dumb ones, nerd ones, distant ones, smothering ones, too-perfect ones and wish-I-could-forget-that-one ones. But in all your breakup experiences, you never wrote songs about them.

Maybe that’s because you weren’t as witty, talented or frank as Linda Robertson, or just never had a boyfriend (or in her case, husband) as crazy, sex-obsessed, drunk, sweet, mean, and unforgettable as hers.

In her new memoir, “What Rhymes with Bastard: A Memoir and Love Story About the Worst Boyfriend Ever,” Robertson not only writes songs about Jack and life after moving from England to San Francisco (like one about their pervert landlord), but also brutally and hilariously details all that women learn about men during their first real relationship.

Far from standard chick-lit, and never a victim’s account of a dysfunctional marriage and sex life, this book is brave, unvarnished, sometimes repulsive and an often moving tale of how her own voice and independence (along with winning accordion playing) sprung from the humor and sadness of a decaying relationship.

It’ll make you wish your breakups were that inspiring, and then thankful they weren’t.

Besides, her songs are much better than ours could ever be.

Available online at Amazon.com