When You Have a Little, Share a Little
As a Vietnam War refugee, Elizabeth Thu Hai Pham has learned the power of giving and receiving a helping hand.
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Elizabeth Thu Hai Pham | 71 Years Old
In 1975, with the Vietnam War in its final days, Elizabeth Thu Hai Pham and her family fled their homeland for New Jersey, leaving everything behind. After moving to California, she married and raised five children with her husband. Now, 50 years later, “Mama Pham,” as she is endearingly called, lives in Honolulu with her daughter, Diana, and is the unofficial marketing manager for Diana’s pop-up Vietnamese bakery, Anh Chị Em. She also teaches tai chi at the YMCA of Honolulu.
As told to Andrea Lee:
When I came to America, I cry every night. I say, “Why me? Why I come here? Why you bring me here?” I’m talking about God. And one night, I heard, “Why not?”
The next day, my dad was brought home from YMCA because he passed out without food. That day, my dad didn’t have any lunch with him. That’s why his body so weak.
But anything that happens to us, I think that makes us stronger, makes us reach out more. The people said, “In America, you cannot have breakfast and no lunch and work.” So, they reach out. They rent a place for us. That’s our first home in America, a little apartment in New Jersey.
When we came to this country, we have very little, but every Saturday, people line up at our apartment to get one bowl of soup from my grandma. And I feel so good that I share with them. Even though it may be my bowl of soup, I give to them. When you have little, share a little with someone who has nothing.
Sometimes, I cannot express in English the whole thing that I feel. We come from another country, we’re very smart, but we cannot express ourselves. Be patient, be kind. The first generation comes to America like that. We have hard time, so treat us nice.
Every morning when I wake up, I do deep breathing and look in myself, how I feel today. Appreciate your body. Say thanks to the body because the body is working the whole night to get all the toxins out. You have to appreciate yourself, and the body will take care you. That’s how I’m so cheerful.
Her message to young people
You’re young. You have a lot of talent. Look in yourself. Like my daughter, Diana. One day, she called and said, “I quit.” I said, “You quit?” She was in New York, at the top of her life. She had to deal with people when they complain. And she quit. I said, “Look in yourself. What do you like to do?” Diana said, “I like to bake. That’s all I like.” I said, “Go to school.” “Go to school, Mom? You know how much it costs?” I said, “You have money.”
And I couldn’t believe it, Diana took my advice. She worked five days a week. Saturday and Sunday, she went to school for baking. She changed her life. She’s cheerful again. When you feel down, think about it. What is your passion? Go back to school to challenge yourself. Don’t forget about your passion. If you think it’s what your heart wants, do it. And you will see, you will be cheerful again.
