Remember during the pandemic when we got sick of hearing about the new normal? Well, 2023 delivered an overarching theme that we can call the Next Normal: from fires to Hawai‘i’s still-climbing cost of living and COVID’s dogged efforts to keep us cooped up at home.

 

But here in the Islands, we try to laugh more than we cry and take heart in the resilience of our community. So, we present HONOLULU Magazine’s annual Sour Poi Awards, to vent about outrageous events, shake our heads, and hopefully laugh a little as we reflect back. We know sour poi sometimes tastes better than fresh, so please excuse the tongue-in-cheek name as we share our taste for the irreverent.

 

We begin with several head-scratching events: the initial emergency response on Maui, a celebrity gaffe and a pink pond.

Money, Money, Money

Billionaire talk show host, author, philanthropist and part-time Maui resident Oprah Winfrey drew mixed reactions after initiating well-intentioned help. First, she bought then handed out pillows inside emergency shelters. Then she joined with multimillionaire Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to publicly pledge $10 million to create the People’s Fund of Maui to aid the recovery (cheers!) while also asking the public to donate to the fund (jeers!). After the wealthy duo faced an onslaught of social media backlash, Johnson apologized, saying he understands lots of people live paycheck to paycheck and that he has himself. In an Instagram message, he added: “I understand money ain’t falling out of the sky and it’s not growing on trees.”

Without Warning

First, the warning sirens were never sounded. Herman Andaya, then-head of the Maui Emergency Management Agency, was on O‘ahu attending a conference when the Lahaina fires began, and he defended his agency’s decision not to use emergency sirens to warn people of the extreme immediate danger. Even after Andaya had learned that dozens had died, he said he had no regrets about not activating the sirens because people might have suspected a tsunami and headed mauka. The next day, Andaya abruptly resigned citing health reasons.

Who’s On First?

Mayor Richard Bissen, a retired judge who became Maui’s chief executive in January 2023, has faced many hard questions while responding to one of the worst U.S. wildfires in more than a century. During media briefings, Bissen’s communications style often resembled clueless or hostile witness rather than judicial veteran, including when he said he didn’t know people had died until the morning of Aug. 9. Three weeks after the deadly fires had consumed most of Lahaina, reporters asked Bissen about the chain of command on the night of Aug. 8. His reply: “I don’t know who was in charge. Herman Andaya was still in charge. He just wasn’t present.”

Hot Properties

Maui survivors still reeling from the loss of life and property got a new jolt when people identifying themselves as real estate agents and attorneys approached them within days of the disaster, encouraging them to sell their properties.

It’s a Girl?!

The normally muted tones of Keālia Pond National Wildlife Refuge in South Maui turned a startling Barbie pink in October, with some saying the sanctuary looked like a sea of Pepto Bismol. Scientists pointed to a natural organism—likely salt-loving halobacteria—as the culprit, instead of a massive gender reveal gone awry or some other kind of contaminant.

Strange Clouds

Back in March, some Hawai‘i Island residents reported saucer shapes hovering in the sky. The National Weather Service says they weren’t UFOs from an alien galaxy but lenticular clouds that can form downwind of a mountain as strong winds blow over rough terrain. While they show up often enough near the Rockies, forecasters say they’re rare in Hawai‘i. The phenomenon also is known by the scientific name Altocumulus lenticularis.

Don’t Blame Pele  

Weary of people removing lava rocks from Hawai‘i national parks, officials reminded visitors to stop illegally taking natural resources. And the rangers urged people to refrain from compounding the problem by mailing items back to the parks, claiming to fear the wrath of Pele, the Native Hawaiian goddess of volcanoes. Park officials say there are no records or history that support the idea that bad luck from stolen rocks was ever linked to Pele and to refrain from maligning Native Hawaiian culture with a made-up myth.

Big Crime, No Time

A former coach and Mililani High School athletic director got probation but no prison time after pleading no contest to theft charges and other counts relating to stealing $406,000 from the school’s booster club. The state judge sentenced Glenn S. Nitta to four years’ probation and ordered him to pay full restitution of money taken, which he did, plus $100 a month toward a $155,000 fine. The judge cited Nitta’s “extreme regret,” but city prosecutor Steve Alm said “paying restitution and avoiding prison is like allowing a bank robber to go free if he gives back the money he stole.”

Crossed Wires 

The Maui wildfires prompted a flurry of lawsuits, with various entities casting blame. Maui County was among the many that filed lawsuits against Hawaiian Electric Co. saying the utility failed to heed years of wildfire warnings in maintaining the system and equipment and didn’t shut off power to their lines despite National Weather Service red-flag high-wind warnings the day the fire started.

 

On Aug. 14, HECO CEO Shelee Kimura told news media that the company didn’t have a power shut-off policy in place. Later, HECO issued a statement that the morning fire “appears to have been caused by power lines that fell in high winds.” Yet, after the county filed suit, Kimura fired back, saying its power lines could not have started the devastating afternoon fire because the power lines had been deenergized for six hours before the afternoon fire of Aug. 8, and that the lawsuit was “factually and legally irresponsible.”

Paying His Dues 

Former union boss Brian Ahakuelo was sentenced to more than 11 years in prison and three years of supervised release for conspiracy, wire fraud and embezzlement. The former business manager and financial secretary of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, Local Union 1260, was also ordered to pay restitution of $209,391.72, after he and his wife were found guilty of hiring family members at high salaries, using union money to fund extravagant vacations, and rigging a union vote to increase membership dues.

End of an Era?

A state agency has proposed ending or sharply reducing free parking that’s been popular for decades with surfers, paddlers and others who spend time near the Ala Wai Small Boat Harbor. The cutback plan, buried on the Nov. 9 agenda of a Hawai‘i Department of Land and Natural Resources meeting, was unearthed by members of the Save Surf Parking coalition, including those who surf at Bowls, Rockpiles and Kaisers. After the outcry, the parking discussion continues.

So Foul 

Former Punahou basketball coach Dwayne Yuen faces additional accusations of sexual abuse of teen players in 2023 after more alleged victims came forward as he continued to coach elsewhere. Federal prosecutors describe Yuen as “a prolific and aggressive child predator who has repeatedly targeted minors that he knows well.” Earlier, Punahou settled a civil suit after mixed martial arts champion Ilima-Lei MacFarlane told authorities that Yuen had sexually exploited her and her sister when he coached them as minors. An October indictment adds charges that include sex trafficking of a minor, coercion and enticement. Yuen pleaded not guilty and trial is set for April 18.

Chasing Waterfalls 

Researchers at UH Mānoa worry that human-caused stream diversion, drier weather and climate change are threatening the remarkable journey of the ‘o‘opu nākea, Hawai‘i’s waterfall-climbing goby fish. The fish spends its early life in the ocean before returning to freshwater streams through adulthood. It’s one of five native freshwater fishes that use fused pelvic fins as suction cups to help them climb waterfalls as they migrate upstream.

Stinging Problem 

The little red fire ant, a big pest that spreads undetected and delivers a painful sting similar to an electric shock, recently showed up in Windward O‘ahu, drawing the attention of lawmakers. The ant, Wasmannia auropunctata, is known to prick near the eyes of people, pets, livestock, sea turtles and ground-nesting birds. It first appeared in Puna on Hawai‘i Island more than 20 years ago but has not been a threat on O‘ahu until now. Ouch!

Thieves, Not Spies 

A federal jury in October convicted a Kapolei couple of conspiracy, passport theft and fraud for stealing the identities, then living under the names of dead babies for decades. Initially, the case drew global attention when Polaroid photos of the two posing in KGB uniforms raised espionage allegations. Defense attorneys say the pair wore the same outfit in photos as a joke and prosecutors later dropped the Russian spy allegations. Sentencing is set for March.

Sky Swirl Solved 

At the beginning of 2023, another celestial happening got our attention when a mysterious flying spiral was spotted in the sky over Maunakea. While speculation swirled, the official Twitter account of the Maunakea telescope operated by the National Astronomical Observatory of Japan wrote: “The spiral seems to be related to the SpaceX company’s launch of a new satellite.”

By a Thread 

In July, Hawai‘i dignitaries gathered to celebrate the return of Queen Lili‘uokalani’s personal flag, the royal standard that flew over her Washington Place home until she was illegally overthrown in 1893. The flag was seized as a war trophy and passed through private owners. By the time it appeared at the ceremony, the fabric was torn, thin and dirty. State Archivist Adam Jansen praised philanthropists who donated $60,000 so the state could regain the historic symbol. Now, he’s looking to restore the flag and continue the search for other lost pieces of Hawaiian history.

Why? 

Both county and state officials are calling out people who destroy public restrooms, noting that vandalism seems to be rising at public parks. In August, the city sent out photos of a smashed toilet at the Kaupō restroom near Makapu‘u, explaining that “the senseless act of vandalism” resulted in the closing of the facility until further notice. Officials are asking witnesses to report any vandalism they see.

Good Luck Finding a Successor 

When veteran public servant Nani Medeiros took the job as the state’s chief housing official, she vowed to work hard to find bold, creative ways to provide more affordable housing for the community. But she handed her resignation to Gov. Josh Green after being publicly criticized, sued and disparaged in meetings and on social media. She said the deciding factor included threats to herself and her family, including her children.

Shark-tober? 

In October, divers and surfers reported a spike in tiger sharks in nearshore waters off O‘ahu, leading some to call the month “Shark-tober.” Honolulu Ocean Safety officials confirmed there were more than a dozen shark sightings in October; six shark bite incidents; and one video shot of a shark eating a honu, though it wasn’t clear if the shark was feeding on a Hawaiian green sea turtle that was already dead.

Anchors Away 

A luxury yacht that ran aground at Maui’s Honolua Bay leaked fuel into the bay and damaged more than 100 coral colonies over 2,000 square yards, according to the Hawai‘i Department of Land and Natural Resources. In the wake of the damage, the boat’s investors agreed to a settlement that provided almost $600,000 for removal, coral damage and fines of $117,000.

How’d That Get There?  

The July murder of a Honolulu inmate at the O‘ahu Community Correctional Center prompted a cell-by-cell search that turned up methamphetamine, illegal steroids and cell phones. Adding to the alarm were suggestions that employees were complicit in the contraband smuggling, according to Civil Beat.