5 Tips For Surviving Black Friday Madness

Navigate the most dangerous shopping day of the year with these tips.

Black Friday: You've heard the stories. You've seen the deal advertisements. You just bought a super padded jacket (for crowd tackling) and have been doing stretching exercises every night for weeks. You are ready.

Or are you? Take a moment to prep even more for the big day with these five survival tips. After all, there's no such thing as too much precaution on the most serious shopping day of the year.

Ready? Set? Shop!

Choose your crew wisely. If you're gonna ride together, you better be ready to die together. This mean no schlepping along the friends who will flake out when the going gets tough. You need someone committed to the cause, who will be there when you need help plowing through the crowds, but whose great taste you can trust. You also need someone who can also handle herself when you guys inevitably split up to cover more ground. Do yourself a favor and leave mom and grandma at home. No offense, golden gals, but this is a high-speed impact sport, not a tea party.

Mentally prepare. You know that thought, "Why don't we take it easy this year? Just maybe have some nice holiday shopping and not get too crazy?" BANISH THAT. In the words of Jax from Sons of Anarchy: You can't be half in and half out. You need to be right here, right now—no worrying about petty things like the fight you just had with your BF over Black Friday funds. The world is going to try to distract you with things like "friends," "family" and "a teary little kid begging you to let him have that last TMNT action figure," but you can't let yourself be swayed. It's a dog-eat-dog mall out there, people! No mercy. No prisoners. We suggest watching zombie apocalypse movies to get you in the most accurate frame of mind.

Stay focused. It's true that a sweet deal on a Vitamix is always tempting. But, seriously: Do you want to miss out on a SUPER sweet deal on a Marc Jacobs bag because you're chasing your third Vitamix? It's all about prioritizing, just like relationships: Know what you want and don't waste any time on the losers. If you actually really need a good new bedroom set this year, get your butt out of the electronics section! That's 20 minutes of Black Friday you can never get back.

Come ready. That means everything from dressing comfy (again: impact sport), reading up on your sales beforehan, getting enough sleep the night before to bringing the necessary blankets and camp-out gear (best to check store rules before you pitch your tent in line, though) and packing enough snacks to keep up with your blood-sugar-level needs. You don't want to be THAT person who abandons a multihour stakeout to go get bottled water. Dehydration is SO amateur. And just think how sick you'll feel if your blind faith in a store (we all have our version of Target) leads you to skip double checking its deals the day before, and you show up to sub-par sales. Shudder, right? Complacency kills, ladies.

Skip it. Seriously, there's a couch, Thanksgiving TV specials and leftover pumpkin pie all waiting for you NOT outside or at the mall. Oh, and did we mention NO SOUL- (and body-) CRUSHING CROWDS? Besides, there's always Cyber Monday. Who's up for turkey sandwiches?