Edit ModuleShow Tags

Night of the Living Lasagna

Could you survive three nights of raw organic vegan meals?


(page 1 of 4)

Part I: Live Food and the Fear of Death

As I arrived home with the bag of Licious Dishes, I was seized with two fears. No. 1: That my wife was going to kill me. No. 2: That were I to survive her attempts on my life, we’d starve to death anyway.

“We’re eating takeout?” she asked.

Err, yes, live vegan take-out as a matter of fact.


Apparently, if you heat food to more than 115º, you kill it, I said. Surely, you want to keep the enzymes and proteins, the life-giving water, and the healthful nutrients and antioxidants of your food alive.

“It’s raw,” said Barb. It’s hard to slip anything past her.

A sunflower-seed “cheese” wrap is vegan, and none of the ingredients have been cooked over 115 degrees.

Since I was still alive, having suffered nothing more serious than the marital raised eyebrow, I set about putting dinner on the table.

I thought the bok choy mushroom “quiche” might be better if it wasn’t cold. Not wanting to kill it, I put it in the oven at the lowest possible temperature, with the oven door open. The microwave, I was sure, would guarantee instant death.

“Quiche?” asked my wife, shooting me another eyebrow. “What’s this purple brown pancake on the bottom?”

Onion bread, I said, making little quote marks in the air with my fingers around the word “bread.” I was going to have trouble writing all this stuff up, I explained, because almost everything had to be in quotation marks.

Barb refused to be diverted. “What’s in it?’

It’s a dehydrated mix of yellow onions, flax seeds, sunflower seeds, Ohsawa wheat-free organic tamari and extra-virgin olive oil.

“And on top?”

Miso paste dotted with bok choy and mushrooms, some seasonings. Nothing processed, refined, pasteurized, irradiated or genetically modified, I added helpfully. The red dot in the middle, looking like a cherry on a cake, was a sun-dried tomato.

There was a moment of suspense as she lifted a forkful.

Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module

Subscribe to Honolulu

Honolulu Magazine March 2018
Edit ModuleShow Tags



Here’s How Hawai‘i Responded on Social Media to the False Ballistic Missile Alert

Ward Warehouse

A false alarm caused by human error sent the entire state of Hawai‘i into panic mode.


Twitter is Going Nuts Over Barack Obama’s Backward Hat and Rubbah Slippahs


Vacation mode: Activate.


6 Things You Need to Know About Rat Lungworm Disease Before You Eat a Salad

Rat lungworm disease

Everyone’s talking about the recent disease outbreak affecting the Islands. Find out what it is, where it comes from and how you can prevent it.


Here’s How to Survive a Possible North Korea Nuclear Strike in Hawai‘i

North Korea

What you need to do according to the Hawai‘i State Department of Defense.


20 Great O‘ahu Hikes

Explore 20 great adventures that offer beautiful vistas, waterfalls and more.



Edit ModuleShow Tags