May 2011

Rental Ad: “Cozy downtown studio”
Translation: A broom closet with a small window on River Street.

Personal Ad: “Distinguished, free-spirited, entrepreneur”
Translation: He’s as old as your father and is still living with his.

You’re usually a whiz at ad speak. But you just pulled a major fail with the “weathered, vintage” sideboard that looked a-door-able on Craig’s List. It’s now listing on its remaining two dog-chewed, avocado green legs... Read more »

Your life is largely an open book. But when it comes to reading habits, you're constantly trying to keep from blowing your cover.

You won't admit the heaviest paperback you pick up is the September issue of InStyle. Everything you know about Jane Austen’s stories you learned from Keira Knightley movies. And the last time you cracked open a bestseller and didn’t see pictures, you exited page left.

It’s time to start a new chapter in your literary life. Just before this weekend’s Hawaii Book & Music Festival, we asked Misty-Lynn Sanico of Hawaii Book Blog for her recommendations of recent local works that you won’t be able to put down.

Read more »

Five months into 2011 and you’re really starting to see results from your daily workout resolution.

Strong chest muscles – Im-pec-able
Lean shoulders – Without a delt
A trim belly – Abs - solutely

So you couldn’t believe it when... Read more »

Five months into 2011 and you’re really starting to see results from your daily workout resolution.

Strong chest muscles – Im-pec-able
Lean shoulders – Without a delt
A trim belly – Abs - solutely

So you couldn’t believe it when new happy hour... Read more »

Graze
A Lulu of a Gala
What: Why bother making dinner when you can sup on the fare of 13 top Hawaii chefs? Alan Wong, Roy Yamaguchi, D.K Kodama, Fred DeAngelo of Ola, Goran Streng from Tango and others really get cooking for the Leeward Community College Culinary Arts program’s annual fundraiser. This year the event, called Lulu, focuses on locally grown ingredients. When kanak attacks, dance it off in front of live entertainment or take a... Read more »

MC Hammer harem pants. Your ninth grade perm. That guy you hooked up with on a five-Hello-Kitty-shots night then dumped four hours later in the parking lot.

Some things don’t deserve a second chance.

Make an exception for an eco-friendly jewelry line that... Read more »

Treat
Eight- Horse Meal
What: Start Sunday with brunch and end it with a battle (not between you and mom) at the Hawaii Polo Club's Mother's Day event. Sip a guava mimosa seaside and dive into the buffet featuring filet... Read more »

You hit one for help with your account.

You hit three as an existing customer, five to pay your bill, then one again when the automated system takes you all the way back to the very beginning. Now your life is on hold as you sit, listening to a string quartet play Madonna’s Like a Virgin and a recording assures you that your call is very important.

Calling then waiting – it really pushes your buttons.

Don’t get all dialed up. The LucyPhone will let you off the hook.

The... Read more »

To the ones piling up in my makeup drawer,

When I spotted you across the cosmetic counter, I thought it was love at first sight.

But at home I saw your true, washed-out colors. When I got weepy, you ran (in black lines down my cheeks). And let’s face it, most of the time I gave you the brush off because despite what the girl with neon-blue eyelids said, you didn’t go with everything.

It’s time you took a powder. I’ve found a new favorite that’s making me glow all the way.Read more »

9:00 a.m. – Arrive at office toting coffee from usual place staffed by amazingly perky barista
9:03 a.m. – Return to search for your actual order, which amazingly perky barista mixed up
11:07 a.m. – Lunch – your usual salad at your desk
3:00 p.m. - Weekly staff meeting. Fake-laugh at boss’s lame joke, bite thumb to stay awake during fiscal 2011 budget shortfall powerpoint.

Strike up the bland.

You need a sweet escape from this day. So do yourself a flavor... Read more »