Singles Dating in Honolulu
We step into the often thrilling, sometimes taxing world of dating in Honolulu. Here are tales from the frontlines of the singles world—whether you’re 26 or 88, straight or gay, looking for love, or just looking—in Honolulu now.
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Websites and phone applications such as Adam4adam.com, Manhunt.com, Growlr, Scruff and Grinder were created and are used exclusively for hooking up, says MacGowan. While he’s not currently browsing, he says he’s tried Scruff, and “met some really nice guys. If I was seriously looking, it would probably be out at cultural events or traveling with friends, and I’m involved with [LGBT nonprofit] Equality Hawaii. But I don’t see it happening at the bars or online.”
Like MacGowan, Steven Blake* also frequents Bacchus, and is rarely seen at Hula’s. Blake, who’s 44, is a flight-attendant co-worker of Neko Kim’s and also flies to Japan a lot.
“I find it hard to keep a steady relationship,” he says, because of his work schedule. “Spontaneity is out the window.” Still, when he dates, Blake prefers to see one man at a time.
Whether you’re gay or straight, dating here can be difficult, says Blake. “After your 20s, for singles events, it’s like you’re in limbo. There are really young people here and really old people here,” he says. “And a lot of military.”
Blake has noticed that the combination of tourists on the prowl and young, enlisted military converging in Waikiki make for an interesting phenomenon, one that he hasn’t witnessed in many other cities. “There are more trolls,” he says. “You know what they’re [at the Waikiki bars] for.”
Some young bachelors aren’t looking—unless it’s for short-term fun.
Corey Hashimoto* has had surprising success with women at Starbucks, specifically the Ward theaters location. A few times, the outgoing 26-year-old has picked up vacationing women there. When things are more serious, he also prefers to go on coffee dates. “They’re informal,” he says, taking a sip of coffee at, yes, a Starbucks.
“I don’t want to go somewhere to drink [for a first date], or have to need alcohol,” he says. Yet, two of his go-to spots to meet women are Bar 35 and the Yard House. Hashimoto, who is a general manager, likes Bar 35 because “It has the best combo of people,” and Yard House because “It’s a good pre-game spot and it’s great if you have no plans for the night.” With short, spiky hair and an infectious smile, he is confident when it comes to women. “As long as I can get them to laugh,” he says. Right now, he says he doesn’t want anything serious, which might explain his occasional rendezvous with tourists.
Matt Morici, 29, also doesn’t want to be in a relationship. And like Hashimoto, dating tourists works well for him, as he’s a concierge who lives and works in Waikiki. “I find that girls that are on vacation are generally more carefree and not [into] confining themselves to social rules,” says Morici. That, and the women he dates leave the island in a matter of days. “I love women. I enjoy spending time with them, but I like to go home and have my place be mine. It’s just me and my dog. I like having that simple life. I feel like being in a relationship complicates things and I don’t like it complicated.”
Morici says he’s dated women from Australia, England, Europe, Spain and Japan. Although his job provides an easy way for him to meet many women, he says he still likes to “screen” them first.
“Sometimes I’ll wait till they come back [to my desk] the second or third time and build a little chemistry before asking them out,” he says. “Then, I’ll show them around the island or the different food places. I don’t take them straight to my apartment. I want them to have a good memory of me.”