The Sour Poi Awards 2013
Celebrating the best of the worst of 2012—the dumb, the deranged and the indefensible.
(page 8 of 8)
AT LEAST HE DIDN'T PADDLE THEM...
The owner of a Kailua kayak shop was arrested in July after he hosed down people who were protesting his store’s commercial activity on Kailua Beach. “It looked like they wanted to be cooled off, so I obliged,” Bob Twogood said later of the incident, in which he sprayed water on four people in front of his store for about a minute and a half. “It’s probably not a good idea to provide aid and comfort to protesters,” he added.
BUT, OH, THE SCENERY!
A national study released in May found that Honolulu had the single worst traffic congestion in the nation, with the average driver losing 58 hours a year stuck in traffic. The worst time to be driving in Honolulu, according to the study? Tuesdays between 5:15 to 5:30 p.m.
HARD KNOCKS 101
A Maui man was sentenced in June to probation and anger-management classes after he repeatedly bashed a teenage polo player on the head with a mallet during a match, causing injuries that required stitches. The Associated Press report on the incident noted, “Decoite apologized in court but said the teen should have been wearing a helmet.”
THE BEST MOVIES ALWAYS HAVE A TWIST.
Dog isn’t the only bounty hunter with smooth moves. In May, a Pennsylvania bounty hunter named Scott Bernstein managed to convince Hawai‘i resident Joshua Garlathy, who reportedly owed almost $43,000 in child support and had a Pennyslvania warrant out for his arrest, that he would be perfect for the role of a guitar-playing bank robber in a (non-existent) Jennifer Aniston movie. When Garlathy arrived at Philadelphia International Airport to chase cinema stardom, cameras were indeed rolling, but instead of movie cameras, they were for a TV reality show on deadbeat dads. Police arrested him on the spot, and Garlathy later pled guilty to the charges against him.
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