Sour Poi Awards 2011


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Illustration: Tom Richmond

The Garden Isle … of Avian Doom!

Kauai County came under fire for killing 18 ‘a‘o, or Newell’s shearwater birds, through the bright electric lighting at its facilities, including the football stadium. As a partial solution, Kaua‘i school officials canceled the traditionally popular Friday night high school football games, rescheduling them for Saturday afternoons. Sports fans protested with shirts saying, “Let the boys play” and “Buck the firds.”

Photo: Courtesy MidWeek

Milk it for all it’s worth?

Meadow Gold’s Lani Moo mascot costume was stolen in April from an employee’s vehicle. The head was recovered a few days later, but, in the wake of the initial disappearance, Meadow Gold advised the public not to approach the mascot if it was not at an official Meadow Gold event. “Who knows what they might do in the costume,” said spokesperson Mia Inoshita.


Political wags had a field day in October when it came to light that although lieutenant governor  and gubernatorial candidate Duke Aiona had been pushing flu shots for the public, he had never been vaccinated himself. “I am not convinced that vaccines are more beneficial than harmful,” he told KITV. Aiona buckled a few days later and got the shot, but the gesture didn’t heal his ailing campaign—he ended up losing every district but one to Abercrombie on election day.

Hot porn ruled too dirty

Prison officials at the state Kulani Correctional Facility on the Big Island got in trouble in April for burning a large collection of porn and other documents in an open-air pit. The porn had been used in the treatment of sex offenders and was no longer needed, as the prison was being shut down; the outdoor burning violated Clean Air Act regulations.

Return to sender

In July, the late U.S. Rep. Cecil Heftel’s widow put a stop to a proposal to rename the Makiki Post Office after him, because the congressional bill’s author, then-U.S. Rep Charles Djou, was Republican. “Mr. Heftel would want such an honor initiated by someone whose politics were more closely aligned with his own,” Rebecca Heftel wrote.


For double parking—maybe. for Stealing $300,000—nope.

In May, federal and state law-enforcement officers extradited a Honolulu man from New York City to Hawai‘i, to stand charges he had embezzled at least $300,000 from local law firm Winer Meheula and Devens while he worked there as an office manager. The man’s defense? He claimed he thought his father’s former job as a Philippine diplomat gave him diplomatic immunity.

No stone returned

In June, a group of Hawaiian nationalists used jackhammers to remove a large sacred stone from a display platform on California Avenue, where a local Hindu group had been tending to it as an embodiment of the god Shiva. The Hawaiians reportedly moved the stone to an undisclosed location, to let it “rest and gather its energy in private.” No word on whether the Hindus plan to stage a similar commando mission to reclaim the rock.

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Honolulu Magazine September 2018
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