10 Reasons to Buy my Book!
Editor’s note: Our sister company, Watermark Publishing, has just released a collection of columns from Honolulu Star-Bulletin humorist Charles Memminger, titled, Hey Waiter, There’s an Umbrella in My Drink! $16.95. Please, hear his plea …
 It’s the only book that has the guts to suggest putting children back into the workforce.
 Hidden in the text are secret directions to a place on O‘ahu where $100,000 in gold bars is buried. (Hint: “Mongoose” = East, “Gecko” = North.)
 It is 100–percent mayonnaise-free.
 Very few animals were harmed during the testing and production of this book.
 Free Playstation 3 with each purchase. (*Some restrictions apply. See below.)
 If I sell lots of books I can be on Oprah’s show and jump up and down on her couch.
 Osama bin Laden doesn’t want you to buy it. So, if you’re a real American and love this country, you’ll buy it.
 It’s great for smacking the larger-size cockroaches.
 Legendary travel writer and novelist Paul Theroux Blackberried an extremely witty front-cover blurb for the book all the way from Sri Lanka. If the book does not sell well, his career will be ruined.
 Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez plans to wave the book around the next time he addresses the United Nations General Assembly.
To purchase this book, please visit
(*Main restriction: No Playstation 3s actually will be given away with the purchase of the book. And the hidden gold bars thing … just kidding. The child labor thing we’re serious about, though.)
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