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10 Reasons to Buy my Book!


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Editor’s note: Our sister company, Watermark Publishing, has just released a collection of columns from Honolulu Star-Bulletin humorist Charles Memminger, titled, Hey Waiter, There’s an Umbrella in My Drink! $16.95. Please, hear his plea …

[1] It’s the only book that has the guts to suggest putting children back into the workforce.

[2] Hidden in the text are secret directions to a place on O‘ahu where $100,000 in gold bars is buried. (Hint: “Mongoose” = East, “Gecko” = North.)

[3] It is 100–percent mayonnaise-free.

[4] Very few animals were harmed during the testing and production of this book.

[5] Free Playstation 3 with each purchase. (*Some restrictions apply. See below.)

[6] If I sell lots of books I can be on Oprah’s show and jump up and down on her couch.

[7] Osama bin Laden doesn’t want you to buy it. So, if you’re a real American and love this country, you’ll buy it.

[8] It’s great for smacking the larger-size cockroaches.

[9] Legendary travel writer and novelist Paul Theroux Blackberried an extremely witty front-cover blurb for the book all the way from Sri Lanka. If the book does not sell well, his career will be ruined.

[10] Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez plans to wave the book around the next time he addresses the United Nations General Assembly.

To purchase this book, please visit
http://www.bookshawaii.net/p-57-hey-waiter-theres-an-umbrella-in-my-drink.aspx.

(*Main restriction: No Playstation 3s actually will be given away with the purchase of the book. And the hidden gold bars thing … just kidding. The child labor thing we’re serious about, though.)

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Honolulu Magazine April 2018
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